Introduction to the Book 'Happy Marriage - The Sikh Way' By Shamsher Singh Puri 

Durable, balanced and happy marriages are gradually becoming a rarety in most Western societies; India too is fast catching up with the west in this particular field of human relationship. In Indian society divorce was rarely heard of only 50 years ago but not so now; there is a good sprinkling of divorce cases in courts. Though divorce is not yet so common but many men are now nervous about marriage. The price of marriage is high for men. The majority of men involved in divorce cases lose their fifty per cent assets and hundred per cent children when they divorce. They are the ones who pay child support. Men are the defendants in majority of cases and are blamed for most of the problems in the relationship.

It is good to be wise about the problems of marriage before entering in to it. Our forefathers considered it a sacred institution and lived happily, spouses regarding each other as devi and devta. But today marriage is considered a contract which may fall through during the ups and downs of modern complex life.

The author, Shamsher Singh Puri, who has the benefit of orthodox marriage for himself in India, combined with long and continuing stay in the U.S. amidst its divorce--ridden society, has turned out useful compendium on how to lead a happy married life and make marriage a vehicle of spiritual evolution and not just a means of procreation and sex satisfaction. The important subjects taken up are 'Picking up Your Mate if you must deny yourself the safety and wisdom of arranged marriage. How to recognize the cracks developing in one's marriage and how to mend them well in time. To keep a marriage hot, stoke the courtship fires, it is advised. After years of familiarity between spouses, the ember of love starts burning low, and in order to keep the flame lit, long term couples must continue courtship behaviour for life. That must be great fun!

How to make marriage work?--is another important subject. Marriage is a commitment between husband and wife which should be honoured at every step of their life. For keeping the commitment, one needs patience, tolerance, forgiveness, coordination, cooperation, understanding and honouring each other's sentiments, carried all together in their life carriage.

The lines of communication between husband and wife should· always be open; if not, one partner may be unresponsive and uncaring or both may be unresponsive or if they must talk it would be yelling at each other. Keeping the lines of communication unchoked, the couple will have to learn the basics of human relationship and develop wholesome attitudes.

How to identify trouble signs in marriage? The communication between the couple is stilled. One partner has started to turn off. The couple spend very little time together. They are thinking more of what they can get rather than what they can, give. Romance is not a daily part of their lives. It is reduced to sex. They quarrel easily. One of the children is becoming rebellious. They do not laugh much any more. They are critical of each other and respond rudely when asked for something and so on.

There are plenty of tips for happy married life :

1.   At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to the partner.

           2.     Never both be angry at the same time.

  3.    If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.

           4.     If you must criticize, do it lovingly.

  5.     It is not advisable to bring tip the mistakes of the past.

          6.     Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

          7.     Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

8.      When you have done something wrong admit it and ask for forgivenes.

        9.       It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one who does the most talking is the one usually wrong.

10.      Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. 

About the Author 'Shamsher Singh Puri' of 'Happy Marriage - The Sikh Way' 

Shamsher Singh Puri is a civil engineer by profession. After having worked 27 years in his chosen profession in India he migrated to the U.S.A. in 1974. Love of Gurbani being strong in his inheritance he had opportunity and means to persue Gurbani studies more zealously in his newly adopted country. The result: many of his articles have found publication in the U.S., U.K. and in the Indian Press. He is author of Prayer (1995).

His recent publications are : Handbook of Sikh Theology; Bhagat-Saints of Guru Granth Sahib; Happy Marriage----The Sikh Way; Ills of Today's Fast Life----The Sikh Therapies and Influence of thought on Body and Mind---The Sikh Perspective. A lot more is expected from this prolific writer in the years to come, Satguru willing.